Refuge: Faking It
"I told my Lama that even though I take Refuge time and time again throughout the day, try to be mindful, aware of where I am, what I'm doing, try to practice diligently etc. that I just don't feel "Buddhist" and that even sometimes I feel like I'm faking it all.
My Lama told me that often times what happens is that "faking it" is what really makes us grow. That in order to maintain this idea of what we think a Buddhist "should be" we practice and study so that nobody "finds out."
He said that over time we get so good at "faking it" that there is no difference between faking it and actually BEING it. I found that to be really comforting and told him that I felt really relieved to hear it. So [if someone] thinks that you are faking it, maybe it means you're doing something right ! "
~ KNC on the Kagyu.email list
"My first long-term dharma teacher, an American woman, told her students, "If you can't feel compassion for someone, pretend . . . you can. That way you can eventually work into actually feeling it."
She [had] tried this on her mother-in-law, by the way -- they had a rocky relationship -- and it worked beyond her wildest dreams!" ~ L.
Consequences
Many people, dissatisfied with the religion that they have inherited, turn to a different one whose principles they find agreeable. They do not consider the fact that no belief system exists in a cultural vacuum. Along with the teachings and principles comes an historical, social and cultural context. This background is often what people object to when they refer to the problems of "organized religion."
His Holiness the Dalai Lama is known to have expressed the opinion that Westerners would do well to practice their own religions. The appeal of the exotic is not a good reason to "upset the applecart."
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- others may feel uncomfortable:
Sure, this is the 21st century, and we are all responsible for our own actions, reactions feelings, and so on. However, it is not beneficial to reinforce negativities at such a time and place since it could have far-reaching consequences, according to the Buddhist view.
- hair-cutting tradition:
For the same reason as in the above note, the hair-cutting is no longer being done by many lamas. It is felt that if the person does not keep the commitment associated with this part of the ritual, then it might be better to defer this aspect.
