Difference between revisions of "Extramarital Sex"
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− | This is a rather complex issue involving ramifications in [[emotional]], {{Wiki|social}}, and [[moral]] fields. The problem is a [[cause]] for [[concern]] in modern times, especially in the West where {{Wiki|materialism}} has for so long been the [[philosophy]] of [[life]]. | + | This is a rather complex issue involving ramifications in [[emotional]], {{Wiki|social}}, and [[moral]] fields. The problem is a [[cause]] for [[concern]] in {{Wiki|modern}} times, especially in the [[West]] where {{Wiki|materialism}} has for so long been the [[philosophy]] of [[life]]. |
− | The third [[moral]] [[precept]] advises against all forms of sexual misconduct, which include rape, [[adultery]], promiscuity, paraphilia, and sexual perversions. Actually, the [[Buddhist]] commentary emphasizes [[adultery]] more than anything else, but if we take into account the purpose and {{Wiki|intention}} of the [[precept]], it is clear that the [[precept]] is intended to cover all improper {{Wiki|behavior}} with regard to sex. The broadest interpretation even purports to mean abstention from the misuse of the [[senses]]. The expression "misuse of the [[senses]]" is somewhat vague. It could refer to any morally [[unwholesome]] [[action]] committed under the [[influence]] of [[sensual desire]] or to the inability to control one's own [[senses]]. In any case there is no [[doubt]] that the third [[precept]] aims at promoting, among other things, proper sexual {{Wiki|behavior}} and a [[sense]] of {{Wiki|social}} [[decency]] in a [[human]] civilization where monogamy is commonly practiced and self-restraint is a cherished [[moral]] value. | + | The third [[moral]] [[precept]] advises against all [[forms]] of [[sexual misconduct]], which include rape, [[adultery]], promiscuity, paraphilia, and {{Wiki|sexual}} [[perversions]]. Actually, the [[Buddhist]] commentary emphasizes [[adultery]] more than anything else, but if we take into account the {{Wiki|purpose}} and {{Wiki|intention}} of the [[precept]], it is clear that the [[precept]] is intended to cover all improper {{Wiki|behavior}} with regard to {{Wiki|sex}}. The broadest [[interpretation]] even purports to mean abstention from the {{Wiki|misuse}} of the [[senses]]. The expression "{{Wiki|misuse}} of the [[senses]]" is somewhat vague. It could refer to any {{Wiki|morally}} [[unwholesome]] [[action]] committed under the [[influence]] of [[sensual desire]] or to the inability to control one's [[own]] [[senses]]. In any case there is no [[doubt]] that the third [[precept]] aims at promoting, among other things, proper {{Wiki|sexual}} {{Wiki|behavior}} and a [[sense]] of {{Wiki|social}} [[decency]] in a [[human]] {{Wiki|civilization}} where [[monogamy]] is commonly practiced and self-restraint is a cherished [[moral]] value. |
− | For one [[reason]] or another, many young [[people]] in [[love]] are not able to enter into married [[life]] as early as they wish. While [[marriage]] is still some distance in the future, or even an uncertain quantity, these [[people]] enter into relationships, of which sex forms a significant part. This happens not only among adults, who must legally answer to their own conduct, but also among teenagers who are still immature, [[emotionally]] unstable, and tend to act in irresponsible ways. Peer pressure and altered [[moral]] values are an important contributing factor to the escalation of the problem. The trend toward extramarital sex has become so | + | For one [[reason]] or another, many young [[people]] in [[love]] are not able to enter into [[married]] [[life]] as early as they wish. While [[marriage]] is still some distance in the {{Wiki|future}}, or even an uncertain {{Wiki|quantity}}, these [[people]] enter into relationships, of which {{Wiki|sex}} [[forms]] a significant part. This happens not only among adults, who must legally answer to their [[own]] conduct, but also among teenagers who are still immature, [[emotionally]] unstable, and tend to act in irresponsible ways. Peer pressure and altered [[moral]] values are an important contributing factor to the escalation of the problem. The trend toward [[extramarital sex]] has become so |
− | common that it is now virtually taken for granted. Contubernal arrangements are | + | common that it is now virtually taken for granted. Contubernal arrangements are becoming increasingly popular, and [[marriage]] is relegated to a place of insignificance, jeopardizing in the process the sanctity of [[family]] [[life]]. |
− | In the context of these developments, the third [[precept]] becomes all the more relevant and meaningful. Unlike killing, which certain circumstances seem to warrant, there is hardly any plausible excuse for sexual promiscuity, except [[human]] weaknesses and inability to restrain the sexual [[urge]]. However, there is a distinction between sexual promiscuity and sexual relationship based on mutual [[trust]] and commitment, even if the latter were a relationship between two single adults. [[Thus]] one may begin to practice the third [[precept]] by resolving not to be involved in sexual activities without an earnest {{Wiki|intention}} and serious commitment of both parties. This means that sex should not be consummated merely for the sake of sexuality, but should be performed with [[full understanding]] within the [[people]] involved and with mutual responsibility for its consequences. A certain level of maturity and [[emotional]] stability is necessary to ensure a healthy and productive sexual relationship between two partners. With the [[realization]] that there is a better and more [[noble path]] to follow than promiscuity, one may see the [[wisdom]] of self-restraint and the benefit of establishing a more lasting and meaningful relationship which, rather than impeding one's [[spiritual]] progress, may enhance it. | + | In the context of these developments, the third [[precept]] becomes all the more relevant and meaningful. Unlike {{Wiki|killing}}, which certain circumstances seem to warrant, there is hardly any plausible excuse for {{Wiki|sexual}} promiscuity, except [[human]] weaknesses and inability to restrain the {{Wiki|sexual}} [[urge]]. However, there is a {{Wiki|distinction}} between {{Wiki|sexual}} promiscuity and {{Wiki|sexual}} relationship based on mutual [[trust]] and commitment, even if the [[latter]] were a relationship between two single adults. [[Thus]] one may begin to practice the third [[precept]] by resolving not to be involved in {{Wiki|sexual}} [[activities]] without an earnest {{Wiki|intention}} and serious commitment of both parties. This means that {{Wiki|sex}} should not be consummated merely for the sake of {{Wiki|sexuality}}, but should be performed with [[full understanding]] within the [[people]] involved and with mutual {{Wiki|responsibility}} for its {{Wiki|consequences}}. A certain level of maturity and [[emotional]] stability is necessary to ensure a healthy and {{Wiki|productive}} {{Wiki|sexual}} relationship between two partners. With the [[realization]] that there is a better and more [[noble path]] to follow than promiscuity, one may see the [[wisdom]] of self-restraint and the [[benefit]] of establishing a more lasting and meaningful relationship which, rather than impeding one's [[spiritual]] progress, may enhance it. |
− | Finally, if anything else fails to convince [[people]] of the [[danger]] and undesirability of sexual promiscuity, perhaps the [[phenomenal]] AIDS epidemic will. This may seem beside the point, since [[moral]] [[precepts]] and [[moral]] integrity are matters that [[concern]] inner strength, fortitude, and [[conscientious]] practice, not {{Wiki|fear}} and trepidation based on extraneous factors. It is, nevertheless, worthwhile to consider the connection between promiscuous {{Wiki|behavior}} and the AIDS epidemic and realize how strict observance of the third [[Buddhist]] [[moral]] [[precept]] could greatly reduce the [[risk]] of infection or spread of this deadly disease. Acceptance of this fact may also lead to an [[appreciation]] of the value of [[morality]] and [[moral]] [[precepts]] as laid down by the [[Buddha]], consequently strengthening conviction in [[ | + | Finally, if anything else fails to convince [[people]] of the [[danger]] and undesirability of {{Wiki|sexual}} promiscuity, perhaps the [[phenomenal]] {{Wiki|AIDS}} epidemic will. This may seem beside the point, since [[moral]] [[precepts]] and [[moral]] [[integrity]] are matters that [[concern]] inner strength, fortitude, and [[conscientious]] practice, not {{Wiki|fear}} and trepidation based on extraneous factors. It is, nevertheless, worthwhile to consider the connection between promiscuous {{Wiki|behavior}} and the {{Wiki|AIDS}} epidemic and realize how strict [[observance]] of the third [[Buddhist]] [[moral]] [[precept]] could greatly reduce the [[risk]] of infection or spread of this deadly {{Wiki|disease}}. [[Acceptance]] of this fact may also lead to an [[appreciation]] of the value of [[morality]] and [[moral]] [[precepts]] as laid down by the [[Buddha]], consequently strengthening conviction in the [[Dharma]] practice. |
{{R}} | {{R}} | ||
− | [http://web.singnet.com.sg/~alankhoo/MoreQA.htm web.singnet.com.sg] | + | [http://web.singnet.com.sg/~alankhoo/MoreQA.htm web.singnet.com.sg/~alankhoo] |
[[Category:Buddhist Terms]] | [[Category:Buddhist Terms]] | ||
[[Category:Buddhist Ethics]] | [[Category:Buddhist Ethics]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Sexuality]] |
Latest revision as of 14:20, 18 October 2015
This is a rather complex issue involving ramifications in emotional, social, and moral fields. The problem is a cause for concern in modern times, especially in the West where materialism has for so long been the philosophy of life.
The third moral precept advises against all forms of sexual misconduct, which include rape, adultery, promiscuity, paraphilia, and sexual perversions. Actually, the Buddhist commentary emphasizes adultery more than anything else, but if we take into account the purpose and intention of the precept, it is clear that the precept is intended to cover all improper behavior with regard to sex. The broadest interpretation even purports to mean abstention from the misuse of the senses. The expression "misuse of the senses" is somewhat vague. It could refer to any morally unwholesome action committed under the influence of sensual desire or to the inability to control one's own senses. In any case there is no doubt that the third precept aims at promoting, among other things, proper sexual behavior and a sense of social decency in a human civilization where monogamy is commonly practiced and self-restraint is a cherished moral value.
For one reason or another, many young people in love are not able to enter into married life as early as they wish. While marriage is still some distance in the future, or even an uncertain quantity, these people enter into relationships, of which sex forms a significant part. This happens not only among adults, who must legally answer to their own conduct, but also among teenagers who are still immature, emotionally unstable, and tend to act in irresponsible ways. Peer pressure and altered moral values are an important contributing factor to the escalation of the problem. The trend toward extramarital sex has become so common that it is now virtually taken for granted. Contubernal arrangements are becoming increasingly popular, and marriage is relegated to a place of insignificance, jeopardizing in the process the sanctity of family life.
In the context of these developments, the third precept becomes all the more relevant and meaningful. Unlike killing, which certain circumstances seem to warrant, there is hardly any plausible excuse for sexual promiscuity, except human weaknesses and inability to restrain the sexual urge. However, there is a distinction between sexual promiscuity and sexual relationship based on mutual trust and commitment, even if the latter were a relationship between two single adults. Thus one may begin to practice the third precept by resolving not to be involved in sexual activities without an earnest intention and serious commitment of both parties. This means that sex should not be consummated merely for the sake of sexuality, but should be performed with full understanding within the people involved and with mutual responsibility for its consequences. A certain level of maturity and emotional stability is necessary to ensure a healthy and productive sexual relationship between two partners. With the realization that there is a better and more noble path to follow than promiscuity, one may see the wisdom of self-restraint and the benefit of establishing a more lasting and meaningful relationship which, rather than impeding one's spiritual progress, may enhance it.
Finally, if anything else fails to convince people of the danger and undesirability of sexual promiscuity, perhaps the phenomenal AIDS epidemic will. This may seem beside the point, since moral precepts and moral integrity are matters that concern inner strength, fortitude, and conscientious practice, not fear and trepidation based on extraneous factors. It is, nevertheless, worthwhile to consider the connection between promiscuous behavior and the AIDS epidemic and realize how strict observance of the third Buddhist moral precept could greatly reduce the risk of infection or spread of this deadly disease. Acceptance of this fact may also lead to an appreciation of the value of morality and moral precepts as laid down by the Buddha, consequently strengthening conviction in the Dharma practice.