Difference between revisions of "Learning Compassion From Childhood by Peter Morrell"
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{{Centre|<big><big>Learning Compassion From Childhood<br/> </big></big> | {{Centre|<big><big>Learning Compassion From Childhood<br/> </big></big> | ||
by [[Peter Morrell]]}}<br/><br/> | by [[Peter Morrell]]}}<br/><br/> | ||
| − | Making one's life meaningful, for a Buddhist, very much tends to involve learning how to adapt to life's ups and downs. Life necessarily contains many setbacks and disappointments. That is its nature, and there is often very little we can do about it. It is thus a question of adapting and of trying to craft one's internal responses to events, rather than trying to control the external events themselves. | + | Making one's [[life]] meaningful, for a [[Buddhist]], very much tends to involve {{Wiki|learning}} how to adapt to life's ups and downs. [[Life]] necessarily contains many setbacks and disappointments. That is its [[nature]], and there is often very little we can do about it. It is thus a question of adapting and of trying to craft one's internal responses to events, rather than trying to control the external events themselves. |
| − | ===Compassion=== | + | ===[[Compassion]]=== |
| − | The justification for compassion in Buddhism is very clear indeed. Compassion is in many respects a central feature of Buddhism for two reasons: first it is part of the love and respect we must cultivate for all living beings; second, it emanates from the central theme of developing and cultivating the theme of 'non-harming' in all aspects of one's life. Non-harming being an aspect of 'right livelihood'. Thus in many respects an uncompassionate person cannot really in honesty be a good Buddhist at all, as they are not practising the religion they claim to follow. | + | The [[justification]] for [[compassion]] in [[Buddhism]] is very clear indeed. [[Compassion]] is in many respects a central feature of [[Buddhism]] for two [[reasons]]: first it is part of the [[love]] and [[respect]] we must cultivate for [[all living beings]]; second, it [[emanates]] from the central theme of developing and [[cultivating]] the theme of 'non-harming' in all aspects of one's [[life]]. Non-harming being an aspect of '[[right livelihood]]'. Thus in many respects an uncompassionate [[person]] cannot really in [[honesty]] be a good [[Buddhist]] at all, as they are not practising the [[religion]] they claim to follow. |
| − | The justification for compassion within Buddhism also rests upon one's commitment to develop good spiritual qualities as an end in itself. These include generosity, patience, compassion, love, tolerance, forgiveness, etc. It also rests upon a similar commitment to gradually abandon and deal with negative qualities like hatred, anger, violence, badmouthing others, jealousy, envy, pride, etc. One cannot avoid these tasks. They are part of our inheritance as human beings. To truly be a Buddhist one simply must set about these life tasks. Buddhism is very much a religion of self-correction, change and purifying oneself of bad qualities. It is a form of therapy. That is probably its most central feature. Thus in all these ways one can easily justify compassion as a most important spiritual quality in Buddhism. | + | The [[justification]] for [[compassion]] within [[Buddhism]] also rests upon one's commitment to develop good [[spiritual]] qualities as an end in itself. These include [[generosity]], [[patience]], [[compassion]], [[love]], [[tolerance]], [[forgiveness]], etc. It also rests upon a similar commitment to gradually abandon and deal with negative qualities like [[hatred]], [[anger]], [[violence]], badmouthing others, [[jealousy]], [[envy]], [[pride]], etc. One cannot avoid these tasks. They are part of our inheritance as [[human beings]]. To truly be a [[Buddhist]] one simply must set about these [[life]] tasks. [[Buddhism]] is very much a [[religion]] of self-correction, change and purifying oneself of bad qualities. It is a [[form]] of therapy. That is probably its most central feature. Thus in all these ways one can easily justify [[compassion]] as a most important [[spiritual]] quality in [[Buddhism]]. |
| − | In the case of developing compassion we can also say that it moves along a scale from hating, to toleration, to understanding, to acceptance, to forgiveness, to love. Thus we can gradually transform hatred into love by an act of will. Compassion is the driving force behind that process. To hate someone is easy. It is often our first unthinking response. But to then consider that one must tolerate them is to move along this scale slightly. It then moves into understanding, perhaps only in small ways to begin with, and then that snowballs, and we realise that to understand is to accept, and that to accept is in part to forgive. And so on. To be a good Buddhist we should hate no-one, we should actively seek to clear out all hatred from our lives. This means developing universal compassion, having no enemies and trying to love all beings. It is not easy, but it is the goal. | + | In the case of developing [[compassion]] we can also say that it moves along a scale from hating, to toleration, to [[understanding]], to [[acceptance]], to [[forgiveness]], to [[love]]. Thus we can gradually [[transform]] [[hatred]] into [[love]] by an act of will. [[Compassion]] is the driving force behind that process. To [[hate]] someone is easy. It is often our first unthinking response. But to then consider that one must tolerate them is to move along this scale slightly. It then moves into [[understanding]], perhaps only in small ways to begin with, and then that snowballs, and we realise that to understand is to accept, and that to accept is in part to forgive. And so on. To be a good [[Buddhist]] we should [[hate]] no-one, we should actively seek to clear out all [[hatred]] from our [[lives]]. This means developing [[universal compassion]], having no enemies and trying to [[love]] all [[beings]]. It is not easy, but it is the goal. |
===Childhood=== | ===Childhood=== | ||
| − | Childhood, as we look back on it, seems to contain three main elements which can be used in Buddhist practice. One is the feelings of love and compassion of one's family which nurtured and supported one as a child, the second is the impermanence element of life having moved along since that time; third is the vivid images we have from that time which can be successfully used as a basis for visualization. Thus 'coming to terms' with one's childhood as one gets older can very much mean firstly adapting to the sense of loss one feels about the passing away of phases of one's life and secondly, one can seek to really feel, cultivate and recreate the love and compassion which surrounded us in our own childhood. Thus a possible negative of yearning sentimentally back to the 'good times', and loved ones long since departed, can be converted into a positive force in one's life now. | + | Childhood, as we look back on it, seems to contain three main [[elements]] which can be used in [[Buddhist practice]]. One is the [[feelings]] of [[love]] and [[compassion]] of one's family which nurtured and supported one as a child, the second is the [[impermanence]] [[element]] of [[life]] having moved along since that [[time]]; third is the vivid images we have from that [[time]] which can be successfully used as a basis for [[visualization]]. Thus 'coming to terms' with one's childhood as one gets older can very much mean firstly adapting to the [[sense]] of loss one [[feels]] about the passing away of phases of one's [[life]] and secondly, one can seek to really [[feel]], cultivate and recreate the [[love]] and [[compassion]] which surrounded us in our own childhood. Thus a possible negative of yearning sentimentally back to the 'good times', and loved ones long since departed, can be converted into a positive force in one's [[life]] now. |
| − | Why, one asks, is this relevant? It is relevant because as we get older we tend to regress back into the ideas and feelings which surrounded us in our childhood. As we approach death at the end of our life, so in another sense we revert back to our birth and the conditions which pertained at that time. It is the closing of a circle. The conditions of one's birth and early life have a certain tone and atmosphere which set the scene for the rest of one's life. Also, very importantly, everyone we were close to at that time, in family, neighbours and friends, become somewhat solidified into a basic backdrop for the rest of our life. We tend to measure everyone we meet against those central figures at the start of our life. We tend to measure all new events against experiences we had then. Thus the early phase of our childhood represents a very important starting point, which we return to in old age. | + | Why, one asks, is this relevant? It is relevant because as we get older we tend to regress back into the [[ideas]] and [[feelings]] which surrounded us in our childhood. As we approach [[death]] at the end of our [[life]], so in another [[sense]] we revert back to our [[birth]] and the [[conditions]] which pertained at that [[time]]. It is the closing of a circle. The [[conditions]] of one's [[birth]] and early [[life]] have a certain tone and {{Wiki|atmosphere}} which set the scene for the rest of one's [[life]]. Also, very importantly, everyone we were close to at that [[time]], in family, neighbours and friends, become somewhat solidified into a basic backdrop for the rest of our [[life]]. We tend to [[measure]] everyone we meet against those central figures at the start of our [[life]]. We tend to [[measure]] all new events against [[experiences]] we had then. Thus the early phase of our childhood represents a very important starting point, which we return to in [[old age]]. |
| − | This explains why so many people in old age become childlike and actually can see and speak to those people who they knew as a child. The people visually return to the mind. Intensely vivid images from childhood return to the consciousness of the bed-bound and those who live alone for many months. It is these conditions, and the lack of activity within real life, which activate the memory and cause this reflowering of early memories. It seems disturbing to watch this but it is so commonplace that it must have a sound psychological foundation. It shows in fact that we revert back to the central certainties of that early phase of our life. Another important factor concerns the clarity of the mind in childhood and old age. They are very similar. The basic similarity means that in old age one can vividly recall in great detail events of long ago. They come back with greater clarity. Rather than being a source of remorse, this fact can be used within one's practice. | + | This explains why so many [[people]] in [[old age]] become childlike and actually can see and speak to those [[people]] who they knew as a child. The [[people]] visually return to the [[mind]]. Intensely vivid images from childhood return to the [[consciousness]] of the bed-bound and those who live alone for many months. It is these [[conditions]], and the lack of [[activity]] within real [[life]], which activate the [[memory]] and [[cause]] this reflowering of early [[memories]]. It seems {{Wiki|disturbing}} to watch this but it is so commonplace that it must have a [[sound]] [[psychological]] foundation. It shows in fact that we revert back to the central certainties of that early phase of our [[life]]. Another important factor concerns the clarity of the [[mind]] in childhood and [[old age]]. They are very similar. The basic similarity means that in [[old age]] one can vividly recall in great detail events of long ago. They come back with greater clarity. Rather than being a source of {{Wiki|remorse}}, this fact can be used within one's practice. |
| − | Thus the concept of 'coming to terms with childhood' is a potent and centrally relevant one for the Buddhist, who is naturally ever-mindful of death and thus of one's own fragility. The older one gets, inevitably the nearer to death one moves. Being able to grasp the impermanence of our life, the warm loving feelings of childhood and the intensely vivid images in memory can all be used successfully to generate good practice and used to transform one's ordinary life now into a Buddhist path. | + | Thus the {{Wiki|concept}} of 'coming to terms with childhood' is a potent and centrally relevant one for the [[Buddhist]], who is naturally ever-mindful of [[death]] and thus of one's own fragility. The older one gets, inevitably the nearer to [[death]] one moves. Being [[able]] to [[grasp]] the [[impermanence]] of our [[life]], the warm [[loving]] [[feelings]] of childhood and the intensely vivid images in [[memory]] can all be used successfully to generate good practice and used to [[transform]] one's ordinary [[life]] now into a [[Buddhist path]]. |
| − | ===Bodhichitta=== | + | ===[[Bodhichitta]]=== |
| − | The combination of compassion, emptiness/impermanence and visualization forms the very root foundation of tantric practice. Within tantric Buddhism there is a very great emphasis upon making the effort to generate a supremely strong form of compassion called 'bodhichitta' which literally means 'mind of enlightenment'. This very special emphasis upon compassion essentially means that one should view all living beings not just neutrally, but as one's friends; indeed, that one should regard all living forms as somehow related to yourself in the same way as one is related to one's mother in this life. This conveys the flavour and emotional intensity to the term 'bodhichitta'. By 'mind of enlightenment' it really means 'the thought of a Buddha'. It means what a Buddha would think. A Buddha regards all living beings as his/her own mother, in the sense that s/he regards them with love and their welfare is uppermost in his/her thoughts. Thus 'bodhichitta' truly means a foundation for the whole tantric path. Combined with emptiness it is in fact the absolute basis for the tantric path. | + | The combination of [[compassion]], emptiness/impermanence and [[visualization]] [[forms]] the very [[root]] foundation of [[tantric practice]]. Within [[tantric Buddhism]] there is a very great {{Wiki|emphasis}} upon making the [[effort]] to generate a supremely strong [[form]] of [[compassion]] called '[[bodhichitta]]' which literally means '[[mind of enlightenment]]'. This very special {{Wiki|emphasis}} upon [[compassion]] [[essentially]] means that one should [[view]] [[all living beings]] not just neutrally, but as one's friends; indeed, that one should regard all living [[forms]] as somehow related to yourself in the same way as one is related to one's mother in this [[life]]. This conveys the {{Wiki|flavour}} and [[emotional]] intensity to the term '[[bodhichitta]]'. By '[[mind of enlightenment]]' it really means 'the [[thought]] of a [[Buddha]]'. It means what a [[Buddha]] would think. A [[Buddha]] regards [[all living beings]] as his/her own mother, in the [[sense]] that s/he regards them with [[love]] and their {{Wiki|welfare}} is uppermost in his/her [[thoughts]]. Thus '[[bodhichitta]]' truly means a foundation for the whole [[tantric path]]. Combined with [[emptiness]] it is in fact the [[absolute]] basis for the [[tantric path]]. |
| − | The special compassion one develops in tantric practice is a very powerful force for the good. Because one wishes to gain enlightenment very quickly, one must adopt all the qualities of a Buddha as objects of the path, or as they say 'take the fruit as the path'. This means that one becomes a Buddha through a process of direct imitation. The two chief qualities a Buddha has are compassion and the correct view of emptiness. Thus they form the basis for the entire path. Minutely copying these qualities forms the direct route to enlightenment. | + | The special [[compassion]] one develops in [[tantric practice]] is a very powerful force for the good. Because one wishes to gain [[enlightenment]] very quickly, one must adopt all the qualities of a [[Buddha]] as [[objects]] of the [[path]], or as they say 'take the fruit as the [[path]]'. This means that one becomes a [[Buddha]] through a process of direct imitation. The two chief qualities a [[Buddha]] has are [[compassion]] and the [[correct view]] of [[emptiness]]. Thus they [[form]] the basis for the entire [[path]]. Minutely copying these qualities [[forms]] the direct route to [[enlightenment]]. |
| − | This great compassion has several foundations. Firstly, one becomes a Buddha through acting like one, and Buddhas are always kind, patient, and considerate of others. Second, in order to attain the fruits of tantric practice one must swiftly generate very great merit. This is mainly achieved through developing very deep compassion and through making offerings. Thirdly, for successful tantric practice one must view oneself as a Buddha, or at least as a Buddha-to-be. That would be very difficult to do, convincingly and in honesty, if one did not act like one already. A Buddha is ever mindful of helping other beings and is ever thinking up new ways to be a source of help to them. Through generating love, tolerance and forgiveness, we attract gentle and kind beings into our life who can help us. Likewise, we generate a pliable and ethical mindstream which is more suitable for Buddhist practice. | + | This [[great compassion]] has several foundations. Firstly, one becomes a [[Buddha]] through acting like one, and [[Buddhas]] are always kind, {{Wiki|patient}}, and considerate of others. Second, in order to attain the {{Wiki|fruits}} of [[tantric practice]] one must swiftly generate very great [[merit]]. This is mainly achieved through developing very deep [[compassion]] and through making [[offerings]]. Thirdly, for successful [[tantric practice]] one must [[view]] oneself as a [[Buddha]], or at least as a [[Buddha-to-be]]. That would be very difficult to do, convincingly and in [[honesty]], if one did not act like one already. A [[Buddha]] is ever [[mindful]] of helping other [[beings]] and is ever [[thinking]] up new ways to be a source of help to them. Through generating [[love]], [[tolerance]] and [[forgiveness]], we attract gentle and kind [[beings]] into our [[life]] who can help us. Likewise, we generate a pliable and [[ethical]] [[mindstream]] which is more suitable for [[Buddhist practice]]. |
===Summary=== | ===Summary=== | ||
| − | By way of summary, I have tried to show that an examination of early childhood and of old age show certain similarities. In old age there tends to arise a longing for the joy and simplicity of the child, combined with a deep nostalgia for the many loved ones we have lost along the way. Thus for a Buddhist, one of the big problems of old age is dealing with all this and still maintaining good practice. One method of doing this is to bring the main elements of childhood into one's practice throughout adulthood, rather than trying to suppress one's feelings for the joys of that period, and then having to face them at the end of one's life. By adopting this approach it is possible to bring the clarity, the joy, the loving emotion and the vividness of childhood memories into the Buddhist path and use them now to generate love, compassion, a sound understanding of emptiness and a vivid clarity of visualization. Dealing with the longings also releases us from their tyranny later on. We therapeutically save ourselves from ourselves. | + | By way of summary, I have tried to show that an examination of early childhood and of [[old age]] show certain similarities. In [[old age]] there tends to arise a longing for the [[joy]] and [[simplicity]] of the child, combined with a deep nostalgia for the many loved ones we have lost along the way. Thus for a [[Buddhist]], one of the big problems of [[old age]] is dealing with all this and still maintaining good practice. One method of doing this is to bring the main [[elements]] of childhood into one's practice throughout adulthood, rather than trying to suppress one's [[feelings]] for the joys of that period, and then having to face them at the end of one's [[life]]. By adopting this approach it is possible to bring the clarity, the [[joy]], the [[loving]] [[emotion]] and the vividness of childhood [[memories]] into the [[Buddhist path]] and use them now to generate [[love]], [[compassion]], a [[sound]] [[understanding]] of [[emptiness]] and a vivid clarity of [[visualization]]. Dealing with the longings also releases us from their tyranny later on. We therapeutically save ourselves from ourselves. |
| − | Finally, I would say that compassion generates merit, which is rather like gold going into one's spiritual bank account and which will bring future happiness and good future lives. It is an insurance policy against possible disaster. | + | Finally, I would say that [[compassion]] generates [[merit]], which is rather like {{Wiki|gold}} going into one's [[spiritual]] bank account and which will bring {{Wiki|future}} [[happiness]] and good {{Wiki|future}} [[lives]]. It is an insurance policy against possible {{Wiki|disaster}}. |
| − | ===Compassion quotes=== | + | ===[[Compassion]] quotes=== |
| − | :'' 'Beings of great capacity...reflecting on certain truths, such as that all beings have at one time or another in the vast duration of cyclic existence been their mothers and shown them great kindness, they gradually develop love and compassion for others.' [Cozort, 1986, pp.22-3] | + | :'' '[[Beings]] of great capacity...reflecting on certain [[truths]], such as that all [[beings]] have at one [[time]] or another in the vast duration of [[cyclic existence]] been their mothers and shown them great [[kindness]], they gradually develop [[love]] and [[compassion]] for others.' [Cozort, 1986, pp.22-3] |
| − | :'' 'Although compassion is said to be the basis of practice, it is basic in the sense of being one's motivation...' [Cozort, p.31] | + | :'' 'Although [[compassion]] is said to be the basis of practice, it is basic in the [[sense]] of being one's [[motivation]]...' [Cozort, p.31] |
| − | :'' '...the cultivation of compassion and the realization of emptiness are as essential to tantric practice as they are to sutra practice.'[Cozort, pp.59-60] | + | :'' '...the [[cultivation]] of [[compassion]] and the [[realization]] of [[emptiness]] are as [[essential]] to [[tantric practice]] as they are to [[sutra]] practice.'[Cozort, pp.59-60] |
| − | :'' 'Love and compassion have the support of valid cognition; their production does not need assistance from | + | :'' '[[Love]] and [[compassion]] have the support of [[valid cognition]]; their production does not need assistance from [[ignorance]]…' [Gyatso, 1988, p.102] |
| − | :'' 'The root of altruistic mind generation is compassion. In the process of generating strong compassion, as much as one has a sense of closeness, pleasantness, and dearness with regard to sentient beings who are troubled by suffering, to that degree one has compassion with respect for them.' [Gyatso, 1988, p.165] | + | :'' 'The [[root]] of {{Wiki|altruistic}} [[mind]] generation is [[compassion]]. In the process of generating strong [[compassion]], as much as one has a [[sense]] of closeness, pleasantness, and dearness with regard to [[sentient beings]] who are troubled by [[suffering]], to that [[degree]] one has [[compassion]] with [[respect]] for them.' [Gyatso, 1988, p.165] |
| − | :'' '...love, compassion, and concern for other people - these are real sources of happiness. With love and compassion, even if you are living in a very uncomfortable place, the external circumstances will not disturb you.' [Gyatso, 1988, p.182] | + | :'' '...[[love]], [[compassion]], and [[concern]] for other [[people]] - these are real sources of [[happiness]]. With [[love]] and [[compassion]], even if you are living in a very uncomfortable place, the external circumstances will not disturb you.' [Gyatso, 1988, p.182] |
| − | :'' 'I will offer some comments...concentrating mainly on the practices of love, kindness, and compassion.' [Gyatso, 1995, p.3] | + | :'' 'I will offer some comments...concentrating mainly on the practices of [[love]], [[kindness]], and [[compassion]].' [Gyatso, 1995, p.3] |
| − | :'' 'In simple terms, compassion and love can be defined as positive thoughts and feelings that give rise to such essential things in life as hope, courage, determination, and inner strength.' [Gyatso, 1995, p.64] | + | :'' 'In simple terms, [[compassion]] and [[love]] can be defined as positive [[thoughts]] and [[feelings]] that give rise to such [[essential]] things in [[life]] as {{Wiki|hope}}, [[courage]], [[determination]], and inner strength.' [Gyatso, 1995, p.64] |
| − | :'' '...longevity, good health, success, happiness, and so forth...are all dependent on kindness and a good heart.' [Gyatso' 1995' p.65] | + | :'' '...longevity, good health, [[success]], [[happiness]], and so forth...are all dependent on [[kindness]] and a good [[heart]].' [Gyatso' 1995' p.65] |
| − | :'' 'Buddhist scriptures speak of being exceptionally kind and compassionate ...one of the most important ideals...is to be especially compassionate towards those who most need help...' [Gyatso' 1995, p.90] | + | :'' '[[Buddhist scriptures]] speak of being exceptionally kind and [[compassionate]] ...one of the most important ideals...is to be especially [[compassionate]] towards those who most need help...' [Gyatso' 1995, p.90] |
| − | :'' '...realization of bodhichitta - [is] the altruistic aspiration to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all living beings.'[Gyatso, 1995, p.94] | + | :'' '...[[realization]] of [[bodhichitta]] - [is] the {{Wiki|altruistic}} [[aspiration]] to achieve [[enlightenment]] for the [[benefit]] of [[all living beings]].'[Gyatso, 1995, p.94] |
| − | :'' 'There are many different philosophies, but what is of basic importance is compassion, love for others, concern for others' suffering, and reduction of selfishness.'[Gyatso, 1985, p.11] | + | :'' 'There are many different [[philosophies]], but what is of basic importance is [[compassion]], [[love]] for others, [[concern]] for others' [[suffering]], and reduction of [[selfishness]].'[Gyatso, 1985, p.11] |
| − | :'' '...kindness and compassion are the most important things, very precious and valuable.'[Gyatso, 1985, p.32] | + | :'' '...[[kindness]] and [[compassion]] are the most important things, very [[precious]] and valuable.'[Gyatso, 1985, p.32] |
==Sources== | ==Sources== | ||
Revision as of 18:31, 13 July 2014
Learning Compassion From Childhood
by Peter Morrell
Making one's life meaningful, for a Buddhist, very much tends to involve learning how to adapt to life's ups and downs. Life necessarily contains many setbacks and disappointments. That is its nature, and there is often very little we can do about it. It is thus a question of adapting and of trying to craft one's internal responses to events, rather than trying to control the external events themselves.
Compassion
The justification for compassion in Buddhism is very clear indeed. Compassion is in many respects a central feature of Buddhism for two reasons: first it is part of the love and respect we must cultivate for all living beings; second, it emanates from the central theme of developing and cultivating the theme of 'non-harming' in all aspects of one's life. Non-harming being an aspect of 'right livelihood'. Thus in many respects an uncompassionate person cannot really in honesty be a good Buddhist at all, as they are not practising the religion they claim to follow.
The justification for compassion within Buddhism also rests upon one's commitment to develop good spiritual qualities as an end in itself. These include generosity, patience, compassion, love, tolerance, forgiveness, etc. It also rests upon a similar commitment to gradually abandon and deal with negative qualities like hatred, anger, violence, badmouthing others, jealousy, envy, pride, etc. One cannot avoid these tasks. They are part of our inheritance as human beings. To truly be a Buddhist one simply must set about these life tasks. Buddhism is very much a religion of self-correction, change and purifying oneself of bad qualities. It is a form of therapy. That is probably its most central feature. Thus in all these ways one can easily justify compassion as a most important spiritual quality in Buddhism.
In the case of developing compassion we can also say that it moves along a scale from hating, to toleration, to understanding, to acceptance, to forgiveness, to love. Thus we can gradually transform hatred into love by an act of will. Compassion is the driving force behind that process. To hate someone is easy. It is often our first unthinking response. But to then consider that one must tolerate them is to move along this scale slightly. It then moves into understanding, perhaps only in small ways to begin with, and then that snowballs, and we realise that to understand is to accept, and that to accept is in part to forgive. And so on. To be a good Buddhist we should hate no-one, we should actively seek to clear out all hatred from our lives. This means developing universal compassion, having no enemies and trying to love all beings. It is not easy, but it is the goal.
Childhood
Childhood, as we look back on it, seems to contain three main elements which can be used in Buddhist practice. One is the feelings of love and compassion of one's family which nurtured and supported one as a child, the second is the impermanence element of life having moved along since that time; third is the vivid images we have from that time which can be successfully used as a basis for visualization. Thus 'coming to terms' with one's childhood as one gets older can very much mean firstly adapting to the sense of loss one feels about the passing away of phases of one's life and secondly, one can seek to really feel, cultivate and recreate the love and compassion which surrounded us in our own childhood. Thus a possible negative of yearning sentimentally back to the 'good times', and loved ones long since departed, can be converted into a positive force in one's life now.
Why, one asks, is this relevant? It is relevant because as we get older we tend to regress back into the ideas and feelings which surrounded us in our childhood. As we approach death at the end of our life, so in another sense we revert back to our birth and the conditions which pertained at that time. It is the closing of a circle. The conditions of one's birth and early life have a certain tone and atmosphere which set the scene for the rest of one's life. Also, very importantly, everyone we were close to at that time, in family, neighbours and friends, become somewhat solidified into a basic backdrop for the rest of our life. We tend to measure everyone we meet against those central figures at the start of our life. We tend to measure all new events against experiences we had then. Thus the early phase of our childhood represents a very important starting point, which we return to in old age.
This explains why so many people in old age become childlike and actually can see and speak to those people who they knew as a child. The people visually return to the mind. Intensely vivid images from childhood return to the consciousness of the bed-bound and those who live alone for many months. It is these conditions, and the lack of activity within real life, which activate the memory and cause this reflowering of early memories. It seems disturbing to watch this but it is so commonplace that it must have a sound psychological foundation. It shows in fact that we revert back to the central certainties of that early phase of our life. Another important factor concerns the clarity of the mind in childhood and old age. They are very similar. The basic similarity means that in old age one can vividly recall in great detail events of long ago. They come back with greater clarity. Rather than being a source of remorse, this fact can be used within one's practice.
Thus the concept of 'coming to terms with childhood' is a potent and centrally relevant one for the Buddhist, who is naturally ever-mindful of death and thus of one's own fragility. The older one gets, inevitably the nearer to death one moves. Being able to grasp the impermanence of our life, the warm loving feelings of childhood and the intensely vivid images in memory can all be used successfully to generate good practice and used to transform one's ordinary life now into a Buddhist path.
Bodhichitta
The combination of compassion, emptiness/impermanence and visualization forms the very root foundation of tantric practice. Within tantric Buddhism there is a very great emphasis upon making the effort to generate a supremely strong form of compassion called 'bodhichitta' which literally means 'mind of enlightenment'. This very special emphasis upon compassion essentially means that one should view all living beings not just neutrally, but as one's friends; indeed, that one should regard all living forms as somehow related to yourself in the same way as one is related to one's mother in this life. This conveys the flavour and emotional intensity to the term 'bodhichitta'. By 'mind of enlightenment' it really means 'the thought of a Buddha'. It means what a Buddha would think. A Buddha regards all living beings as his/her own mother, in the sense that s/he regards them with love and their welfare is uppermost in his/her thoughts. Thus 'bodhichitta' truly means a foundation for the whole tantric path. Combined with emptiness it is in fact the absolute basis for the tantric path.
The special compassion one develops in tantric practice is a very powerful force for the good. Because one wishes to gain enlightenment very quickly, one must adopt all the qualities of a Buddha as objects of the path, or as they say 'take the fruit as the path'. This means that one becomes a Buddha through a process of direct imitation. The two chief qualities a Buddha has are compassion and the correct view of emptiness. Thus they form the basis for the entire path. Minutely copying these qualities forms the direct route to enlightenment.
This great compassion has several foundations. Firstly, one becomes a Buddha through acting like one, and Buddhas are always kind, patient, and considerate of others. Second, in order to attain the fruits of tantric practice one must swiftly generate very great merit. This is mainly achieved through developing very deep compassion and through making offerings. Thirdly, for successful tantric practice one must view oneself as a Buddha, or at least as a Buddha-to-be. That would be very difficult to do, convincingly and in honesty, if one did not act like one already. A Buddha is ever mindful of helping other beings and is ever thinking up new ways to be a source of help to them. Through generating love, tolerance and forgiveness, we attract gentle and kind beings into our life who can help us. Likewise, we generate a pliable and ethical mindstream which is more suitable for Buddhist practice.
Summary
By way of summary, I have tried to show that an examination of early childhood and of old age show certain similarities. In old age there tends to arise a longing for the joy and simplicity of the child, combined with a deep nostalgia for the many loved ones we have lost along the way. Thus for a Buddhist, one of the big problems of old age is dealing with all this and still maintaining good practice. One method of doing this is to bring the main elements of childhood into one's practice throughout adulthood, rather than trying to suppress one's feelings for the joys of that period, and then having to face them at the end of one's life. By adopting this approach it is possible to bring the clarity, the joy, the loving emotion and the vividness of childhood memories into the Buddhist path and use them now to generate love, compassion, a sound understanding of emptiness and a vivid clarity of visualization. Dealing with the longings also releases us from their tyranny later on. We therapeutically save ourselves from ourselves.
Finally, I would say that compassion generates merit, which is rather like gold going into one's spiritual bank account and which will bring future happiness and good future lives. It is an insurance policy against possible disaster.
Compassion quotes
- 'Beings of great capacity...reflecting on certain truths, such as that all beings have at one time or another in the vast duration of cyclic existence been their mothers and shown them great kindness, they gradually develop love and compassion for others.' [Cozort, 1986, pp.22-3]
- 'Although compassion is said to be the basis of practice, it is basic in the sense of being one's motivation...' [Cozort, p.31]
- '...the cultivation of compassion and the realization of emptiness are as essential to tantric practice as they are to sutra practice.'[Cozort, pp.59-60]
- 'Love and compassion have the support of valid cognition; their production does not need assistance from ignorance…' [Gyatso, 1988, p.102]
- 'The root of altruistic mind generation is compassion. In the process of generating strong compassion, as much as one has a sense of closeness, pleasantness, and dearness with regard to sentient beings who are troubled by suffering, to that degree one has compassion with respect for them.' [Gyatso, 1988, p.165]
- '...love, compassion, and concern for other people - these are real sources of happiness. With love and compassion, even if you are living in a very uncomfortable place, the external circumstances will not disturb you.' [Gyatso, 1988, p.182]
- 'I will offer some comments...concentrating mainly on the practices of love, kindness, and compassion.' [Gyatso, 1995, p.3]
- 'In simple terms, compassion and love can be defined as positive thoughts and feelings that give rise to such essential things in life as hope, courage, determination, and inner strength.' [Gyatso, 1995, p.64]
- '...longevity, good health, success, happiness, and so forth...are all dependent on kindness and a good heart.' [Gyatso' 1995' p.65]
- 'Buddhist scriptures speak of being exceptionally kind and compassionate ...one of the most important ideals...is to be especially compassionate towards those who most need help...' [Gyatso' 1995, p.90]
- '...realization of bodhichitta - [is] the altruistic aspiration to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all living beings.'[Gyatso, 1995, p.94]
- 'There are many different philosophies, but what is of basic importance is compassion, love for others, concern for others' suffering, and reduction of selfishness.'[Gyatso, 1985, p.11]
- '...kindness and compassion are the most important things, very precious and valuable.'[Gyatso, 1985, p.32]
Sources
- Cozort, Daniel, 1986, Highest Yoga Tantra, Snow Lion, USA
- Gyatso, Tenzin, 1985, Kindness, Clarity and Insight, Snow Lion, USA
- Gyatso, Tenzin, 1988, The Dalai Lama at Harvard, Snow Lion, USA
- Gyatso, Tenzin, 1995, The World of Tibetan Buddhism
