Buddhist Tips for Life

Dr. Alexander Berzin

Sometimes we feel lost and have no idea how to handle the challenges of life and accomplish our positive goals. We’re even stumped about how to get along better with others. When we look to the traditional Buddhist teachings, we find an abundance of practical guidelines that are helpful for anyone, at any time, in any culture.

Qualities to Cultivate for Helping Others

Generosity – with your time, advice, help, and possessions

Self-discipline – to avoid destructive ways of behaving or speaking, and to help others in whatever ways you can Patience – with the difficulties in helping others, so as not to get angry or frustrated Courage and endurance – to go on, no matter how rough things get

Mental and emotional stability – to stay focused and not get thrown off course Discrimination – between what is helpful and what is harmful, and what is appropriate and what is inappropriate.

[For more detail, see: Overview of the Six Perfections: Six Paramitas]

Ways to Be a Positive Influence on Others

Be generous – with your time, interest and energy

Speak kindly – mindful that not only what you say, but also how you say it affects others

Speak and act in a meaningful manner – encouraging others to develop their constructive skills

Set a good example – by practicing what you advise.

[For more detail, see: How to Be a Positive Influence on Others]

Ways to Accomplish Your Positive Goals

Be clear about your goal – make sure it’s realistic, and have confidence in your ability to achieve it

Maintain self-discipline – to keep focused on the goal, without getting sidetracked or doing anything that would jeopardize achieving it

Be generous – with your time and effort to work toward the goal

Be open-minded – keep on learning more that will help you achieve your goal

Maintain a sense of self-dignity – not to act in shameful ways that would endanger reaching your goal

Maintain concern – for how any irresponsible behavior will negatively affect your team

Discriminate carefully – between what will help and what will hinder your progress.

Qualities to Cultivate for Achieving Your Positive Goals

Being content – with achieving a realistic goal, without being greedy for something unrealistic

Not becoming frustrated, resentful or antagonistic with others – when inevitably something goes wrong

Keeping your focus on the goal – and on the benefits it will bring when you have achieved it

Taming your mind – to remain calm and to keep emotional balance no matter what happens

Always remembering that everything changes – no matter what mood you’re in, your mental and emotional states are not fixed or permanent, but can be improved

Maintaining peace of mind – from knowing that you are trying your best.

Ways to Take Control of Your Life

Don't get into a position of being powerless to make your own decisions – it makes you compromise your principles and do things you regret

Avoid being unfaithful, if you are in a sexual relationship – it inevitably leads to complications and trouble

Don't strive for a high position with great responsibilities – it will take up all your time and energy

Don't let others influence you to give up your positive habits, such as eating a healthy diet, not smoking, and exercising – it will damage your health and well-being

Don't commit yourself to doing something you can’t accomplish – it will make you lose self-confidence

Refrain from acting recklessly – it just brings negative consequences.

Qualities to Develop That Help You Avoid Problems in Challenging Circumstances

Not getting excited – when praised or criticized

Remaining mindful not to be clinging or hostile – when meeting someone you are attached to or dislike

Not behaving in ways that contradict your good principles – when engaged in your usual activities

Not being obsessed with material things – when having many possessions or much wealth, to the neglect of your higher goals Not feeling sorry for yourself – when sick or in pain, but using it as a circumstance to work further on developing inner strength and character

Working on overcoming your shortcomings and realizing your full positive potentials – at all times.