Yidam Visualization
Generally, one is not allowed to visualize oneself as the deity unless the practice is specifically Highest Yoga Tantra class or to use Nyingma terminology, Mahayoga or Anuyoga. In lower tantras the front visualization is the model. When visualizing oneself as Deity, one has already dissolved oneself into emptiness and is arising as the diety. There is no self who holds a mala! Realistically, the way it works is you see through the yidam's eyes and hold the sense of "this is me." the question shows that you are confusing the physical self that you normally use as a reference point for 'me" as a real I.
In tantra, relate the the visualization as "me." So what the ordinary self is like becomes irrelevant. he Gelugpas say that one should have at least some experience of what they call 3 principal aspects of the path before entering tantra-- some renunciation, some bodhicitta and some experience of emptiness. But at the very least one should have refuge and bodhisattva vows along with life-long commitment to practice. Therefore, if we take refuge in our ordinary body's appearance, we cannot focus on the imaginary form of a sublime wisdom deity very effectively, and if we do so with selfish intent the result will be not very selfless... nor will we develop much wisdom of emptiness by forming the habit of relating to a wisdom deity. you can practice a variety of peaceful deities, perhaps even a blissful one-- depending. Technically speaking, the lama from whom one receives empowerment is one's teacher. And yes, you can have more than one. You do not have to think too much about lineage until you establish a relationship of mutual trust with your root-lama.
You become part of whatever tradition you root-lama belongs to. You are not allowed to hold disrepectful views about any lama with whom you have a connection via empowerment-- so choose wisely. Merely having a few empowerments or having heard a few teachings does not make the lama your root-lama. But, you still need to maintain respect, since the deity you practice came from them. There's a lot to understand. If you read Trungpa, you'll see that traditionally empowerment was given to only a dozen or so people at a time. Sometimes very important cycles of teaching are given to large audiences.
Even the Dalai Lama says that in this era of gross misunderstanding, misinformation, and disinformation around tantra that open teachings serve to correct these with correct information. Speaking somewhat openly about these secret teachings with that intention of correcting misconceptions overcomes faults associated with giving the teachings to those who are unqualified Also, many of these big empowerments are not actually complete empowerments-- or they are advertised as something other than what they are. So there's some protection. Although people may distribulte sublime teachings with the best of intentions, there's no telling what may become of them. They can get watered down, made into information, rather than vehicles for transformation. ... HHDL does point out that taking empowerment is a serious matter.
